Malik in Wonderland
by Enjeru
Summary: YGO contest entry, Round Six; Xenoshipping. Soul stuck between two dimensional planes? Weird dreams are the least of your problems. Enjoy the adventure Malik!


Woot, this came seriously last minute, but I watched the OVA of Kuroshitsuji and I realize there are quite a few "Alice in Wonderland" spoofs from different anime series, so here's mine for YuGiOh.

FYI, I'd love to see fanart of Malik dressed AiW style ^_^ (hint hint, nudge nudge)

Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh or Alice in Wonderland…I know…sad, isn't it? Y.Y

Enjoy~!

* * *

Malik wasn't sure how but he knew that just moments before, he had once existed in the world; in fact he was sure of it. Did that mean he didn't exist now? He had to exist, he was here right? Wherever 'here' was…

It finally occurred to the young teen to open his eyes to get a bearing on his surroundings. Easier thought then done as his eye lids decided to become virtually heavy as lead enforcing a struggle just to lift them. Met with shocking white light, the Egyptian yelped and shut his eyes tight against the blinding rays. _Why is the shadow realm so damn bright_?

"Shadow…" his voice caught in his throat, was that where he was? He opened lilac eyes once more, seeing the same bright light and green grass; a meadow? Malik sat up with surprising reflex, all instincts alert, this couldn't be right. The last thing he remembered was fighting alongside Bakura, a fragment of his soul clinging to the Millennium Ring while they teamed up against his dark half.

"We lost," he mumbled to himself. "I should be in the shadow realm…wait…" his cunning sharp mind calculating, what were his options? _Anzu_… Malik's eyes lit up, yes of course! A slow grin spread across his face, he wasn't down and out yet. His thoughts drifted to the darker version of himself; _You just wait, I'll will get my body back and when I do-huh_?

What was Yuugi doing here? Malik blinked, he couldn't possibly have been here so long that the Pharaoh had started a shadow game with his darkness already. Standing up he wobbled a bit before squinting in the bright light, "Oi Yuugi!" He wasn't all too keen of calling out to the boy seeing as they really weren't on good turns with each other.

Yuugi finally came running into view, Malik could now make out long white bunny ears sticking out form all that hair and a pocket watch clutched tightly in his right hand. Wait…what?

"Oh, I'm going to be late, I'm going to be late!" Yuugi zipped by Malik at top speed, his nervous ranting fading away quickly. Malik stood there watching Yuugi's retreating back a bit dumbfounded; _this definitely wasn't the shadow realm_.

* * *

Following Yuugi into a bamboo forest, Malik was starting to think he was losing his mind. Surely this place wasn't real, not to mention he had no time to be messing around, all his effort should be put into following his last connection into Anzu's mind. But standing in a field waiting to wake up wasn't going to get him anywhere so might as well, right? Malik couldn't deny that some part of him was curious to the present situation.

"Damn, how can someone with such short legs run so fast?" Malik cursed as he pushed himself to keep up, Yuugi's small form getting further and further and furth-

"Ack!" the Egpytian teen didn't notice the tree root sticking sickeningly out from the ground, looping up to catch at Malik's ankle. Falling forward, flailing his arms in a desperate attempt, he stumbled into what appeared to be an overly large rabbit hole. Plunged into darkness, Malik fainted before he even hit the ground.

* * *

He woke up in a blink, one moment, darkness the other, yet another unfamiliar place. Waving his hand in front of his face he stumbled up onto his feet. Malik managed a quick glance down at himself taking in his gold and white stripped stockings, poofed lilac dress, and white apron with little surprise.

He twirled once and took in the new setting; small circular room, high ceiling, and a small wooden table with three curved legs. Tilting his head in innocent curiosity he swayed to the table and peered at the three objects there; a piece of cake, a bottle of liquid, and the Millennium key.

"I always wondered what kind of lock the Millennium key opens." Tapping his chin he snatched it up and turned it over in his hand, he looked around again and was pleasantly surprised to see a door had appeared on one of the walls, _well isn't that nice_? Kneeling next to the door he tried to open it but to no avail, twas locked and the Millennium key was far too big for the lock (it didn't occur to him that he as well were too big).

Back at the table Malik set the key down to grab the cake and the bottle. Turning the bottle over to read the tag attached to it; 'Drink Me'. _Well, no arguing with that logic_. Taking a sip of the suspicious liquid and producing a small belch, the room swirled and grew ten times it usual portion, the high ceiling now a pinpoint above…or maybe he just shrunk? Malik craned his neck back to gaze up at a huge table, yup he had been shrunk.

Oh! "I can fit through the door now." Looking to the two items in his hand he wondered where he had put the key, one more glance to the towering table top revealed the answer. Damn! Now what was he going to do? Looking to the cake for guidance its frosting elegantly wrote out 'Eat Me'.

_Don't mind if I do_.

Nibbling a bite off of the fluffy dessert and licking the frosting off his lips with a moan of approval at the sugary taste. His eyes scrunched up in scrumptious delight, the teen didn't realize his return to normal size until he hit his head on the underside of the table (effectively turning it over on its side). Grabbing the Millennium key, Malik took another drink from the bottle and shrank down to his tiny form yet again. Holding the key above his head triumphantly he scurried to the door and shoved the golden artifact into the lock, a clicked sounded behind the door and he pushed on forward on his quest.

* * *

"Where am I now?" Malik was still very small in this world, the flowers themselves towered above him like trees would have. "I was suppose to be doing something," the teen paused, "something important."

This place had grown oddly quiet, as if it knew Malik was trying very hard to think. If he weren't so keen on trying to remember he might have noticed how everything around him stilled, in an almost dangerous state. But no matter how he tried he just couldn't recall, _a shame really when the mind starts to go_-_hm_? The movement of the surrounding area resumed and the wind carried a soft ring of smoke, it broke and faded to nothing against Malik's shoulder. Another ring followed it, and another, and another; beckoning him closer. Pushing past the poppies he came into a small clearing, in the middle of the clearing sat a mushroom and crowned atop was a smoking caterpillar.

"Who are you?" Malik asked. The caterpillar had angular cut short brown hair, icy cold blue eyes, and had his pipe not been such a view blocker the Egyptian might have caught a glimpse of one hell of a scowl. Stunning, magnificent, _subarashii_! In the back of his mind he had the fleeting thought that this caterpillar would become a dragon not a butterfly. _What an odd thought…_

"I believe the correct question is who are you?"

"I know, that's why I asked." Malik beamed. Seto puffed on his pipe and gave the frilly-dressed boy a flat look.

"Regardless to who you are, you are lost, are you not?"

"To be lost I must have somewhere to go." Malik watched, fascinated, as Seto the caterpillar wiggle about on his mushroom.

"Surely then you've forgotten your destination in life."

Malik paused to think about this, he smiled and shook his head in response. "Nope, something like that would be important and if I knew my path and forgot it then I couldn't have known my path because it was too important to forget had I known it."

"…I have no time for you."

"Really?" Malik tilted his head in confusion, "Surely, you're the type to give wise advice with cryptic meaning."

Seto gave Malik a another glance, looking him over, puffing continuous on his pipe, he seemed to be considering-

"No. Now go away."

Shot down Malik pouted in disappointment and continued his journey alone without knowing his destination nor why he even needed to get there.

* * *

The giant flowers gave way to towering trees, burnt to the bony black structures reaching desperate for sunlight of which none would come; this side was always shrouded in night.

Malik shivered at the eerie atmosphere, hugging himself against the metaphorical chill.

"My, if it isn't 'Alice'."

"Huh?" Spinning around Malik came face to face with…nothing. He arched a delicate eyebrow, _that's strange_, he was sure he had heard a voice just now. Must be the wind playing tricks on him. He nodded to himself and carried on further into the dark forest.

"Where is 'Alice' going?"

There, Malik was sure of it this time. A voice, a male alto, speaking from the shadows taunting him! Malik's paranoid started to work overtime at this point, he was small and he had no weapon or minion to protect himself with, thinking clearly since the trip down the rabbit hole he took the most logic action in this situation.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Bakura, purple and pink stripped tail wagging in response to his fun, watched from his tree branch as the lithe boy on the forest floor ran off screaming like a girl. Guests were always so much fun to tease.

"Aw, 'Alice', you should not be late for tea," Bakura smirked, "I think I'll join as well." And with that the cat-man leapt from his tree and disappeared on the spot.

* * *

Somewhere in his screaming rampage of fear and paranoia Malik might have come upon the realization that running with his eyes closed was not the best idea. But of course Malik was a stubborn male and it took running into a solid column to knock the sensible approach into mind (not that it matter much now).

His vision swam for a bit, he felt larger fingers catch him but the shirt and sit him on a hard surface, a piece of fluffy cake shoved into his lap. Eating a few bites obediently he expedient yet another major growth spurt that day. He was sitting in a chair, it must have been the leg I ran into, he thought petting the table cloth as his rational mind started to regain itself in this world.

Analyzing the many scattered, broken, and stacked dishes of the table he wondered what this was all about. There was a cup of tea sitting in place before him, it was warm and looked so soothing, he drank it a hum of approval. Malik just wanted to rest, to rest forever…

"Yesssss," hissed the host at the head of the table. Spooked out of his chair, Malik starred into his own face. The same skin, the same eyes, the same hair; who was this man?

"Dear Omote, finish your tea, then you shall rest." The other Malik smile in a way most foul, unbecoming of that face, sinister its master's intent. The dark Malik adjusted the large top hat on his head sipping tea from a cup that had been sliced in half. "Do not fret, just forget, sleep. Blissfully unaware of an eternity in Wonderland."

"No!" Malik panicked and threw the unfinished tea away from himself, "I mustn't be late!"

Arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders, holding him in place, a familiar voice whispering against his ear. "Certain not," the arms pulled Malik from his chair and the he met the Cheshire cat. Clinging to this feline as his escape from the other Malik, who was morphing into something darker and madder. Mariku's insane laughter filled the night air as Bakura grabbed Malik's hand and lead him from the tea party.

"Come 'Alice'," Bakura purred. Malik did not question the cat, he quietly obeyed.

* * *

"Bakura…" Malik was dazed as the cat lead him to…well, wherever. "I remember…we were sent to the…well you were," he looked around, "where are we?"

Bakura stopped and turned to face the boy, his body fading to smoke (like their last duel) until it was just his blood red eyes and grin that remained. "I shall not venture any further than this, follow this path and you meet the two to guide you through the castle."

Malik stared blankly at the floating facial expression, "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

With a barking laugh, oddly placed trait for a feline, Bakura vanished completely leaving Malik yet again alone. With a sigh the teen continued forward, the black trees becoming less and less a forest and then the exit to the side on which day favored. Walking briskly Malik made a bee-line for that bright sunshine, Bakura could keep his darkness, he wanted nothing to do with it.

* * *

'To Enter the Castle One Must First Find Their Way Through the Ever Changing Maze of Love'

Malik felt a vein on top his temple, pulsate; _seriously_?

He proceeding in taking his frustration out on the sign, there was no time for nonsense like this he needed to get to Anzu's mind and make things right. He had made mistakes and he had to atone for them, most of all he had to apologize to-

"Ishizu!"

Said woman gave a startled yell, dropping her paintbrush. They both locked eyes, both curious to who would make the first move to break the silence. Malik watched as his sister, clothed in a similar get up as himself, slowly reached for the dropped brush never taking her eyes off him.

She smiled abruptly. "I believe you have me mistaken for someone else," she rushed forward and enveloped him in a hug; the change in mood had Malik's head spinning. "Please, let me introduce myself, I am Tweedle Dee."

Malik burst out laughing, his sister waited patiently for him to finish before continuing. "The Cheshire cat informs me that I am to escort you through to the castle." With a gesture to the "Love Maze" she snatched up his hand in a death grip and practically dragged him in.

"They say this maze is doomed never to bring lovers together, I have tried many a time to lead young men through but to no avail." Malik pulled his hand away from his sister and cradled it protectively against his chest.

"What the heck are you talking about? Can't you just show me the way?" Ishizu frown and shook her head forlorn.

"Of course not, only lovers can find the way out."

…

"WHAT?"

* * *

Carrying his bucket and paint brush. Painting the white roses the color red, the color of passion. This was all he knew. The shout of a young man was of no concern to him.

* * *

Ishizu tilted her head at Malik as he back tracked trying to find the entrance once more, "To no avail, the maze has been closed; only lover can find the exit."

"You ain't finding it with me!"

Ishizu's hopeful gaze went sour, turning sad eyes to the roses scattered along the hedge walls, there cursed walls that trapped her and countless men that entered. Pulling her paintbrush from her bucket she delicately started to paint the red roses the color of white, the color of innocence. This was all she knew.

After several minutes of desperate searching and struggles to climb over the walls (failing miserable each time), Malik finally gave up and crossed his arms in a huff.

"This is all your fault! How can you just drag men into this trap? Men you don't even know? Hmmm?" Looking around, he found that his sister had already moved several feet ahead out of ear shot of his ranting, painting the roses. Catching up to her he snatched her wrist, pulling it away from the hedge with much frustration.

"You're not even listening! What if I can't get out of here?" glancing back at the dripping roses he quirked an eyebrow. "What are you even doing? If a rose blooms red then it's meant to be red, don't-"

"It's not red," Ishizu said and it was not the hard gaze but the certain in her voice that stopped him dead, "painted over and over. Red then white. White then red. Who could possible know what color it was when it bloomed."

"Well maybe if you'd stop painting them different colors and just let fate decide-"

"I only paint them white," Ishizu didn't seem to notice how her interrupting was annoying her brother, "there is another who paints them red when my back is turned."

That got Malik's attention; his sister retrieved her brush and wiped it on her apron to remove the grass stuck to it, _if what she said… that meant…_

"There's someone else here in the maze?"

"The Red Painter." She did not seem all that excited as he, "Forever painting over each others roses, never to meet, never meant to paint together."

"Why not?" Ishizu's hand twitched, the precise white paint suddenly staining a green leaf by mistake. She turned to her brother, looking downright frightened.

"I've never met him, the Queen forbid us to meet," Ishizu blushed, wringing her hands in nervous fashion, "We are not to paint together."

"I say you already have," Malik understood now, showing her one of her unfinished roses, wet white paint half way drawn over the dried red paint, "These roses are proof of that, wouldn't you say?"

The Red and White Painters, they were the lovers of this maze, they were the ones to find the way out, tricked into eternal solitude by this so called Queen. Malik grabbed his sister's hand and started to run back the way they came, sure that they would find the man if they just retracted their white rose trail.

* * *

Rishid used gentle strokes of his brush, staining and yet beautifying yet another stunning specimen. Every white rose was perfection, enough coating and not a drop out of place, the White Painter must be an artist. Oh, how he was sure of it.

Sometimes Rishid imaging disobeying the Queen of Hearts, sometimes he wanted so much to paint the roses faster than the White Painter so then eventually they'd catch up to each other, but he couldn't get sloppy in his work not when she painted the roses so divine. It would be an insult slack; he must perfect his art and only hope love would find a way.

"Rishid?" looking up in response to the startled cry to the pair running towards him, Rishid stood and bowed deeply as they came to a halt before him.

"I believe you have me mistaken for someone else, I am Tweedle Dum."

A startled gasp from the female alerted him, he stood up straight again and looked her over. Her body was curvy (his eyes trailed along each one), her hair was dark and exotic (he wondered if it would feel soft between his fingers), and her eyes (blue as the sky above them both). Between her hands, she clutched a brush coated in red paint.

"Dee?"

"Dum!"

Malik was surprised that it was Rishid they stumbled upon, so use to Rishid taking care of him, watching over him, and serving him…well, it was weird to see Rishid have eyes only for his sister in that moment. Even if this fantasy world wasn't real, Malik had to admit as they embraced, joyful to have finally found each other, they looked good together.

Hearing movement behind him, Malik turned to see a new arch way of hedging had appeared, covered in baby pink roses and leading into the castle. _This was it_, he thought, _time to get this wacky dream over with_.

* * *

"You there! Kneel before her Majesty!"

Malik stood standing, "So you're the Queen, should have known. Bakura sent me this way because after all, getting to you was the goal the entire time."

Yugi-bunny looked up nervously between Malik and his precious highness. The Queen of Hearts raised her jewel encrusted scepter, "Off with his head!"

The shadows jumped from the walls, the ceilings, every nook and crannies. The Shadow Realm wanted him, but it wasn't going to get him. Running head long to the throne it felt like slow motion, he needed to get back to Anzu through their connection, he had to get to the Queen before it was too late.

The darkness engulfed the room, Malik felt fear clutched at his heart, was he going to make it? Grabbing the scepter in her hand he pulled the Queen towards him as the shadows crashed around them like waves, Malik pressed his lips to hers. His last passing thought as he tasted those lips; _Anzu really does taste like apricot_.

* * *

With a jolt he opened his eyes; he recognized Kaiba Corp blimp and the rocky island on which Seto had decided to host the Battle City finals. So he was back in reality? Looking down at his pale skin, brunette hair falling in his line of sight he knew he had returned and with Anzu's body he'd confront the darkness that had taken his body. He turned to look at the tall dueling tower in the middle of the island, he's up there…and he better be ready.

_I'm coming_.

**

* * *

**

Notes:

*I imagine Seto wouldn't give a damn and I really am no good at writing a profound hidden message kind of speech out of thin air so we both thought screw it and move on

*I'm not actually sure about time line here, the Malik in Anzu body confrontation with Mariku, whether that happened after or before the semi-finals. I'm just kinda guessing here.

**Extra:**

Malik crossed his arms in a huff, "This isn't fair, you can't just send me off into the dark gloomy forest all small with no Wonderland Yoda style prophecy. This goes against all the rules of this story!"

Seto raised an eyebrow at the angry Egyptian teen, for a brief moment neither one moved…then the caterpillar puffed on his pipe, "Screw the rules, I have hookah."


End file.
